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Damn You Bathroom Scale!
Every day we are told to:
FACE YOUR FEAR!
GET OVER IT.
OVERCOME.
FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY.
Hmmmmmmmmmm, I’m thinking there’s got to be a better way.
I give you Exhibit A. The Bathroom Scale.
There it is. It’s just a heap o’ metal parts put together to weigh people. Or dogs. Or my purse. (Sometimes I just have to know things, like how much my purse weighs.)
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Is My Beauty Embarrassing You?
I am beautiful.
It’s hard to admit this when the whole world is watching, I know, but that’s just (my) reality.
Don’t hate me. And don’t go all Real-Housewives-of-Beverly-Hills on me. There’s no upside to that. Besides, my beauty is unstoppable.
I have spent a lot of time honing my beautifulness. And yes, at times, it can be embarrassing to walk out into the world knowing that my beauty is spilling out of me.
Did I get any on you? Sorry. I just can’t hold it in any longer.
And before you try to burst my bubble, I want to tell you something:
Seriously, I am cool with that. And guess what else?
I will still love you — and there’s nothing you can do about that!
So there!
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