Random musings of a mother gone mad

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Watch This!

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Damn You Bathroom Scale!

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Every day we are told to:

FACE YOUR FEAR!

GET OVER IT.

OVERCOME.

FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY.

Hmmmmmmmmmm, I’m thinking there’s got to be a better way.

I give you Exhibit A. The Bathroom Scale.

the bathroom scale

There it is. It’s just a heap o’ metal parts put together to weigh people. Or dogs. Or my purse. (Sometimes I just have to know things, like how much my purse weighs.)

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Is My Beauty Embarrassing You?

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I am beautiful.

It’s hard to admit this when the whole world is watching, I know, but that’s just (my) reality.

Don’t hate me. And don’t go all Real-Housewives-of-Beverly-Hills on me. There’s no upside to that. Besides, my beauty is unstoppable.

I have spent a lot of time honing my beautifulness. And yes, at times, it can be embarrassing to walk out into the world knowing that my beauty is spilling out of me.

the worst mother

Did I get any on you?¬†Sorry. I just can’t hold it in any longer.

And before you try to burst my bubble, I want to tell you something:

the worst mother

Seriously, I am cool with that. And guess what else?

I will still love you — and there’s nothing you can do about that!

So there!

 

 

 

 

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